“In insecure relationships, we disguise our vulnerabilities so our partner never really sees us.”Sue Johnson
Our romantic relationships can be some of the most meaningful and fulfilling aspects of our life. But such a meaning and fulfillment takes a lot of work. We bring all of our emotional bagage – our defensive patterns, our past wounds, the disavowed parts of our self we’d rather not acknowledge – into the relationship, and expect our partner to deal with it better than others from our past have.
In couples therapy, we engage in the courageous work of examining all of this baggage. We will begin to see that the relationship is anything but safe, because it is calling us to the destruction of our comfortable patterns of being in the world that have limited us.
Love, by its very nature, is not secure; we keep wanting to make it so.Stephen Mitchell